Me: Do you want me to make you some scrambled eggs and smoked salmon again?

Cancer Dad: No… I’ll make… myself… some poached eggs.

Me and my mother: BWWWAHAAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Cancer Dad: [indignant] I’m… serious.

SMASHCUT TO:

[My mother making him poached eggs while he slowly zimmers to the table.]

FIN

For the record, my scrambled eggs are astoundingly good.